SARAH'S BLOG OF FUN: Make Me Laugh Monday 2/1/10

Monday, February 1, 2010

Make Me Laugh Monday 2/1/10

Ok after a long day of making homemade beef stew (it takes 8 hours!!!) and cringing from the pain of my very dry and sore hands, I needed a pick me up!!!! I found some pretty funny definitions of words, and some hillarious newspaper clippings. I hope you all get a good laugh like I did!!!!!

ABASH- highschool Graduation Party

ADULT- a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle

AMNESIA- condition that enables a women who has had children to be with her husband again

ANTIQUE-an item your Grandparents bought, your parents got rid of, and you are buying again

ARBITRATOR- a cook that leaves Arbys to work at Burger King

BARIUM- what we do to most people when they die

BATHROOM- a room used by all, and expected to be self cleaning, except by Mom

BEAUTY PARLOR- place where women curl up and dye

BOSS- someone who is early when you are late, and late when you are early

CANNIBAL- someone who is fed up with people

CANTALOUPE- people who have to get married in a church

CAR SICKNESS- the feeling you get when the payment is due & you see the balance still owed!!

CLOTHES DRYER- an appliance used to eat socks

COLLEGE- the four years when a parent can use their own phone

DERANGE- where the buffalo roam

DOCTOR- a person who kills your ills with pills and then with his bills

DUMBWAITER- one who asks if your kids want dessert

ETC.- a term to make others think you know more then you do

EXPERIENCE- a name men give for their mistakes

FABLE- a story told by a teenager when they miss curfew

FAMILY PLANNING- the art of seperating children (period!!)

FATHER- your personal ATM

FEEDBACK- what happens when your baby doesnt like the carrots

GROCERY LIST- what you spend all day writing, and then forget when you go to the store

GUM- adhesive for the hair

HEARSAY- what toddlers do when the hear a bad word

HEROS- what a guy in a boat does

HINDSIGHT- condition from changing too many diapers

IMPREGNABLE- a women who still remembers labor pains

INFLATION- cutting money in half without hurting the paper

KISSING- a way to get two people together without them seeing anything wrong with the other

LEMONADE STAND- a business venture where Mom does everything, and kids make a quarter

MISER- a person who lives poor so he can die rich

MYTH- a female moth

NAIL POLISH- an item that makes Moms look better, and something Dads dont notice

OVER STUFFED RECLINER- Moms nickname for Dad

OW- the first word spoken by children with older siblings

PARADOX- two physicians

POLYGON- a dead bird

PRENATEL- when you still had some life left

PRIMATE- removing your husband from the couch

PRIVATE TUTOR- someone who doesnt break wind in public

PUDDLE- a small body of water that draws other small bodies with clean dry shoes

QUIET- the peace you feel before the first child is born, and after the last is in College

RELIEF-what trees do in the spring

RUBBERNECK- what you do for you wife after a long day

SEAMSTRESS- 250 lbs in a size 6

SELFISH- what an owner of a seafood market does

STERILIZE- boiling your first babies pacifier, blowing dirt off of your last babies

TOP BUNK- a place where you should never put a kid wearing superman pjs

UMBRELLA- a childhood weapon

VEGETARIAN- old indian word for bad hunter

YAWN- the only time a married man is allowed to open his mouth

WRINKLES- something other people have

ZUCCHINI- a vegatable that can be cooked 100 different ways, and kids still wont eat it


Beth said...

OMG! That last one is hilarious! Ya think? I mean really. REALLY. Ha! Thanks for a great laugh!

Sarah Coulsey said...

Glad you liked it Beth!!!!

Lothiriel said...

LMAO!! These are great!!!

MrsMonicaLB said...

thanks for the laughs!those are great,I like the correction one and the ADULT- a person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle-thats totally me!
a new follower

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